Being Blinded By The Past


Human nature is a very peculiar thing to observe. It doesn’t matter what aspect of our lives we see it in, it tends to surface throughout the many issues we experience.

As I’m in the process of preparing to lay my grandmother to rest, I’m starting to see how people cannot let go of the past. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes in our lives. Some of these mistakes leave large scars in our minds that never leave. That scar is just a reminder of the harm done in the past.

People can choose to repeatedly look at those scars and indelible marks of our past and relive the incidences that caused it. Round and round in our minds the memory of the harm done only ingrains itself further to the point that our only memories of the person revolves around the pain inflicted and nothing else. We are left with bad feelings and nothing else.

Like that mouse running in the exercise wheel, our minds remain in that circle going no where. Thinking about all the bad things about the person keeps us in that wheel of cyclic thoughts. Have we done anything better with our time, energy, and effort by allowing us to stay stuck in that wheel? Obviously, it’s done nothing.

I see so many parallels between the demonizing of a certain company for their past history as well as what’s happening to my grandma. I’ll admit that she has done things in her life that left many marks and scars in others lives. Who hasn’t?

Do we continue to be the mouse in the wheel reliving it and using those scars against her even though she is no longer with us? I say there is a time to let go of this because it only harms our present and future thoughts of her and limits the potential of the relationships.

I know that she wasn’t the perfect mother or grandmother. She was difficult and stubborn many times and did things that hurt. It’s hard to forget those things. Some may perceive it as unforgivable. However, leaving one’s mind in that state only can poison the future relationships. It also leaves out any potential to see her in any other light. Her past will remain with her but it doesn’t mean that we only remember her in that negative way.

As her caregiver and granddaughter, I did not want my children to be left with the negative things of her past. I wanted her to have a fresh new relationship with them about who she is underneath that hard headed demeanor. I didn’t want them to relive her mistakes through me. She deserved a second chance.

My kids brought out the best in her. They loved her unconditionally and she loved them the same. They held no bad memories of what she did against her. I really think that she finally learned what unconditional love really was through them. She never had that as a child and it took a lifetime to learn it through 3 generations, but it did happen. That is a gift that no money could ever buy.

We can stick to our human nature to constantly be reminded of the past and we will never move forward. I choose to move forward from that past and learn from it to make the present and future better. I’m thankful today to be given that insight to move in this direction.


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